"and she'll have fun fun fun till her Daddy takes her Daewoo away."

Sheet metal, leaf springs, cylinder displacement, cold air intakes, leather seats, fuel pumps, sunroofs, key fobs, gear shifts, disc brakes, halogen lights, chin spoilers, turbo chargers, wiper blades, exhaust manifolds, Cragar SS, gauge clusters, floor mats, suicide doors, cowl induction, timing belts, Positraction, synthetic oil, transfer cases, locking lugs, spinners, bored-out big blocks, and big chrome bumpers...I love it all! Yes readers, I am obsessed with the automobile. Since ages long past, as tribes of hunter gathers trekked infinite plains in search for food, it has been a dream of man not only to run like the cheetah, but to cover long distances with relative ease and in befitting style. Owning an automobile isn't like owning any other appliance, it's a love affair, a passionate amour between tool and tool user. Men don't sit around talking about how they spent all weekend in the kitchen shaving precious seconds off the time it takes their toaster oven to go from cold and limp to firm and crispy, golden brown. No, a person's car is something special, a tangible embodiment of freedom that reminds one of the great unknown even as it sits stationary in their garage. To Americans there has been an iconic romance with the automobile since before tubeless tires, so it should come as no surprise that this enchantment has spread to cultures all over the world, Korea included.

I've always loved talking about cars. With some of my best friends it's a regular past time and with guys I've just met it's a surefire ice breaker. As I stroll down strange alleys or pace up outlandish boulevards the variety of transports speeding along captivate my imagination and send an anxious tingle to my typing fingers. I've only been in Korea for a short time and the small parts I've seen are a minuscule sample in terms of the entire country's auto industry. Likewise, don't take my word on any statistics or figures here, I'm simply documenting my premature observations. So, without further ado or disclaimers, here is a foreigner's perspective on Korean's and the cars they drive.

Before we get into the hardware I should say a few words about the operators. Korean drivers are nuts, at least by American driving standards. U-turns from the right lane of a four lane highway, unconcerned detours down the wrong way of one way streets, driving on sidewalks, backing out into traffic without looking, taking speed bumps at full speed, you name it. Once I was sitting with Ms. Huh at a red light, two motorcycle cops idling right next to us, when this huge ten ton truck which has 20 feet of metal wares and scrap piled on top (I mean this thing is clearly over loaded) attempts to make the turn as the light is changing. Not only does it clip a telephone wire but the left side completely leaves the ground. Here is this giant industrial vehicle, packed to the gills with rusty, razor sharp bits of old refrigerators and copper wire turning a corner though a busy intersection on two wheels. What do the bike cops do? They point at it and laugh. Again...point at it and laugh. I think the motor vehicle laws here are more like suggestions than anything else. When I later told Ms. Huh that I was thinking about getting a scooter she looked at me like I just said I was going to walk into a lion pen with a meat helmet. "No you mustn't," she said gravely, "you have no idea what you're saying."

Alright so let's get into what types of vehicles Korean's trust with their lives from day to day. I can say with full confidence that this market is clearly and unarguably dominated by Hyundai, followed immediately by Kia. These automakers have products all over the place and manufacture just about every class of vehicle on the road, and don't quote me on this but I think Hyundai owns Kia...so they pretty much got this market locked down tight. After that you see a lot of cars from a company called Ssangyong, which I had never heard of before coming to Korea. So let's break down the demographics of Korean people movers by class starting with the least exciting. That's right, I'm talking about the...

Midsize Sedan
BORING! Yeah, I'd probably rather write about watching bread rise than discuss sedans but since they constitute the majority of vehicles on the road I can't simply ignore them. Better to get them out of the way in the beginning. Again, they're mostly Kias and Hyundais. Nothing you haven't already seen in the states. Optimas, Sonatas, and Elantras. I can't even tell them apart to be honest with you. They're the workhorses of the local police departments but I'm sure the driving experience has a thrill factor right on par with a dry Slip and Slide. Aside from that you've got the Sm5 which as far as I can tell is only sold in black. Ms. Huh drives one and I recently found out that they're made by Renault Samsung. Samsung? Really? When did they start making cars? I thought they just made great TVs and cell phones. Well moving on.

Pick-up Trucks
Well you got two choices here, the Kia Bongo or the Hyundai Porter. They're both basically the same truck. It's a cab forward platform perched atop a small four cylinder, 5-speed, rear wheel drive set-up. Most of the trucks you see are two seaters but I've seen the occasional crew-cab, long bed, or even a few four-wheel drive options. There's also a slightly larger two-ton version which packs a little more horsepower and it is not uncommon to see many of these trucks powered by Liquid Propane Gas. Some of the trucks on the road look ancient so I'm sure they're incredibly reliable as well as affordable to repair and maintain. Parts must be aplenty because these things are everywhere. If they sold them in the states I wouldn't hesitate to buy one. People have adapted them to every conceivable application from fuel truck, cherry picker, and produce stand. I even saw one today that was being used to sell only women's clothing. I've also seen a handful of Daihatsu Hi-Jets which are these cool little micro-trucks sporting ultra efficient 1300 cc engines. If you've never seen one go ahead and Google it right now.

Sub-Compacts
Awww.. aren't they cute? It came as no surprise to me that Korea would have a plethora of small, fuel efficient cars. The Korea Times claims that Seoul has the eighth highest gas prices in the world and last summer when prices were at record highs a gallon of the go-juice would run you about US$7.33 / gallon. Again, most of these small cars are from Korea's automotive power players. You've got the Kia Picanto (or Morning) which has a 3-cylinder, 1.0L engine coupled to a Continuously Variable Transmission and only earned 3 out of 5 stars in European crash tests which is probably why you don't see this thing on the roads back home. The Hyundai version is called the Santro and has a 1000 cc inline 4-cylinder thats good for 54 horsepower. It's marketed under a bunch of different names, in a bunch of different countries, by a bunch of different companies. Both of these cars are smaller than a Mini Cooper and don't look altogether safe, especially when considering the way the locals drive, so...I think I'll walk thank you.

Mini-vans
Yeah another class of vehicle that's about as much fun as giving a cat a bath. I can't even have a "Van" category because they really don't exist in that particular size here. Again, they're all basically Hyundai's and Kia's but here and there a random manufacturer will slip through the crack. Piaggio Porters are pretty common micro-vans. They are these adorable little things that are built on the same platform as the Hi-Jet. There is a particular vehicle in this class that begs recognition, the Hyundai Starex. The base model comes with a 2.5 L that's good for about 85 horsepower, but step it up to the racing edition and you can expect 174 horsepower from the 24 valve turbo inter-cooled V6. It's recognizable from a distance by the offset hood scoop. The Starex is the kind of van I rode home from the airport in and let me assure you, this "minivan" is a sports car unto itself. So I guess that brings us to...

Sports Cars
Yeah I don't think they make many. I expected to see a ton of Hyundai Tiburons, but in a week and a half I might have seen two or three, and I've been paying attention. There are plenty of sedans with sport packages but no purpose built street machines. I'm talking stiff suspension, road hugging coupes with high revving power plants, GT steering wheels, and convertible tops. Nada. I would've settled for a Porche or a 350Z. You know what I did see pulling out of a private garage the other day that blew my mind. A cherry late model Z06 Chevrolet Corvette! Now that is something else. It's hard enough finding an American car around here let alone a 500 horsepower stallion that runs somewhere near $60,000. It sounded fantastic. There is no question who the Alpha Male is when that thing rumbles by. I'm sure that guy has no problems picking up a date to go to the discotheque.

Luxury Cars
Korea definately has it's share though they're not what you'd expect. They all look like their trying to be Mercedes Benz's and I wouldn't be surprised if they share a lot of the same parts. Hyundai has the Genesis and Kia has the Opirus, but my absolute favorite is from Ssangyong motors and it is known simply as The Chairman. No status symbol really says "I've arrived" like one that associates itself with the pinnacle of the corporate heirarchy. I bet the CEO of Ssangyong Motors rolls around in a Bentley laughing to himself every time he sees a sucker who bought a The Chairman. The car itself looks like it stole body panels right out of a Mercedes-Benz parts bin and if you look at the specifications on the Ssangyong website it says that it uses a Daimler transmission. Still, it stands out from the pack and does look rather comfortable. You do see a few high end BMW's here and there and I think I did actually see a Mercedes, but it could have just been a glare coming off of a Genesis. Also, there's a good deal of Audi luxury sedans, which comes as a surprise because I haven't seen a single Volkswagen (Audi's parent company).

SUV's/Crossovers
Wow, finally a class of vehicle that isn't controlled by Hyundai or Kia. Sure you've got your share of Santa Fe's, Sorentos, Sportages, Mojaves, Veracruz's, Tucson's and other bubbly things that look like Mom's tupperware, but if you want a real offroader then you're going with a Ssangyong. You've got the Musso which is a lot like a Jeep Cherokee and the Korando which is the Korean Wrangler. Also there is this hot little SUT called the Actyon Sports. Ok, so Hyundai does have a capable looking offroaded that resembles a Land Rover and it is called the Galloper.

Motorbikes
Very common cheap transportation, plus you can ride on the sidewalk apparently. I don't really care which company makes all of these but they're mostly 150cc air cooled jobs. All the delivery drivers use them. You see some V-Twin Harley wanna-bee's and the odd crotch rocket but their mostly just basic scooters. Oh I keep seeing middle age women on small quads. Some of them have plastic enclosures built on them. Weird.

American Cars
At first glance you don't really see any but if you dig deep enough they are there. Aside from the hot Vette the other day I happened to see a Chrysler 300C and a newer Dodge Dakota. I can't imagine what parts cost for those things here. Also saw a couple of unrecognizeable sedans that, although they sported the Chevy bowtie, looked nothing like any Chevy I've ever seen.

Public Transit
Yes the buses are all Kias and Hyundais and they are really nothing special. Rear engine people movers just like Septa. You can pay 1000 Won to ride a bus as far as it goes but it's really more economical to buy a bus pass at a convenience store and wave it in front of this little scanner as you get on. Almost all the buses are standard transmission which is commendable in regards to the idiot-proof tubs patrolling Philadelphia. Also, the bus drivers are like mythical Gods in that they demand both fear and adoration. I think that the Suwon transit system only hires people who were kicked out of NASCAR for being too good. I don't think I'll ever stop being surprised at the speeds or weird angles in which these drivers can manuver a ten ton bus.

Industrial Vehicles
Can you guess who makes every single one of these? They come in all shapes and sizes but the biggest differences I noticed between Korean and American trucks is that everything here is cab forward. Also, all the trucks are solid bodies, by which I mean there are no independent trailers on any of these vehicles. They are just giant flatbeds. The really big ones have four drive wheels in the back and four steer wheels up front.

Whew, I guess I didn't realize what I was getting into when I choose this topic. Sure I didn't cover everything on the road but I tried to provide you with a generalized idea regarding the state of transportation in Korea from a new comers perspective. Before I go I'd like the world to know that I have been added to the Korean Blog List, so go check them out for more exciting adventures in Korea. Other good news is that I passed my physical/drug test (never had a doubt) and I'm now in the process of obtaining my Alien ID. After that I'll have my own Internet connect and cell phone so communicating with the world will be a little easier. I will also at that time, post instructions for anyone who wants to Skype me because I miss all of your lovely faces. Okay, it's fried chicken and beer for me tonight and then we have to wake up extra early to go to Gwangju tomorrow. Keep hangin hard.

Cool Thing About Korea #2: The Three Kingdoms Period