Online and Feelin Fine

This is a very special blog entry. That is because I am composing it in the comfort of my own apartment, on my very own Internet connection. I know that may sound trivial to everyone back home, but consider your only outlets to the world being the unreliable wireless connections at a public library or local coffee shop. Imagine sitting on a cold park bench in the dead of night, waiting patiently to acquire a weak signal just to manage a bank account or hear a friendly word from home. Well no longer. Thanks to finally receiving my Alien Registraction Card, I now have super-fast broadband streaming right to my desk, enabling me to conduct oversees affairs with ease, compose blogs more efficiently, quickly finish lesson plans, pirate digital media, and more importantly run Skype.

To those of you who have never heard of Skype before, it is an invaluable Internet service that allows me to keep in contact with friends and family back home. Through Skype I am able to have unlimited conversations with the people I love via a Pennsylvania phone number. Family in PA can even call me without racking up long distance charges. Three months of this service costs only $32! If you're a friend of mine and want to have a chat with your old buddy, send a message to my e-mail or Facebook and I'll give you the number and suggested times to call. Additionally, Skype provides free video conferencing between two people who have webcams. I've been using it to talk to my parents already and it is fantastic. If your interested in video conferencing with me simply download Skype and search my name. You'll also need a webcam but I've seen them as cheap as $30 at Bestbuy or even $8 on e-Bay. But, this blog is starting to sound like an advertisement, let's get into the good stuff.

The students had a field trip this week so I only had two full days of classes on Monday and Tuesday. On Wednesday and Thursday I got paid to hang out in my classroom, reading and relaxing. A wise man would have put together next weeks lesson plan but I just couldn't get interested. I'm paying for that now, using my Saturday morning to paste GIFs and JPEGs into slate-blue Power Point slides.

Friday was absolutely awesome because the 3rd Graders went to an amusement park called Everland and I got to tag along. It doesn't matter how you cut it, no day where you get to go to an amusement park and get full pay can ever be bad. The trip started out by boarding six red coach buses. I hate to bore you with more commentary regarding the exceptional nature of Korean bus drivers but they really are quite skillful. Instead of each driver taking command of a solitary vehicle, the six coachmen act as a team, conquering the road as a single unit. Coming to a red light at a busy intersection? No problem, the two lead busses run blocks on the oncoming lanes, allowing time for the rest of the convoy to catch up and make the turn before pulling up the rear. On the highway, the convoy operates with the efficiency of a Special Forces squadron, controlling the fast lane, forcing out slow vehicles, maintaining a tightly knit and unstoppable complement.

Well, we finally arrived at Everland and after a few minutes of formalities I was turned loose to use the day as I pleased. I wish that I could give this park my full endorsement and as with all experiences in Korea I try to maintain a positive outlook, but the morning here was really quite a dissapointment. The park had three roller coasters to offer; the T-Express, the Eagles Fortress, and the Rolling X-Train, but every single one of them was "cancelled due to inspection." What a load of poop. If I had paid for my ticket I would have been really angry. I tried to make the best of it and sought out the pirate ship...I mean you can't go wrong with a pirate ship right? Like many theme parks, Everland is divided into distinguishable territories. There was the European Adventure, Zoo-Topia, Global Fair, Magic Land, and American Adventure. American Adventure was half 1950's Americana and half Wild West. The Wild West was great. It had conestoga wagons, mine carts, tumble weeds, saloons, and...a pirate ship? Yes that's right, they put the pirate ship ride in the middle of the Wild West and the worse part was that the ride was called Columbus Adventures. Oh, actually I remember that from history class. Yeah, Christopher Columbus sailed his fleet right up the Mississippi, over the great plains, and into the hot, arid deserts of New Mexico. The ride actually had two pendullum ships, the Nina and the Santa Maria...I guess the Pinta was drawing a deep keel and bottomed out in a river delta on it's voyage to the American west. The line was unnecessarily long, most likely because all of the roller coasters were closed. I waited an hour and a half just to get on the thing, and given that it was probably the biggest, most exciting pirate ship I'd ever ridden, it was still hardly worth the wait.

Afterwards I was pretty hungry so I used my lunch ticket at this reproduction burger joint. There was so many hungry people and the staff was so underprepared that it took over an hour just to get a crappy burger and a coke. I wandered around the park, dissatisfied, trying to make lemonade out of lemons but not coming across any sugar when...hmmm is that a movie theatre? And it's showing Star Trek. And it's only 5000 Won! Well, actually I walked all around the building looking for a box office to buy my ticket and could find none so I just walked right it. There were no stewards or ticket takers to stop me so...free Star Trek! I hate to say that I spent an afternoon at an amusement park watching a movie but trust me, it beat another hour long line waiting for the Tilt-a-Whirl.

I would love to tell you what an awesome movie Star Trek is but this isn't a movie review and many of you have probably seen it for yourselves. Regardless, I left that theatre with a deep sense of satisfaction, reasoning that if a free movie was the best part of my day than it was infinate times better than actual work. I made my way to Zoo-Topia, watching animals, enjoying the warm afternoon and the delighted cryptic energy of 20,000 Korean thrill-seekers. I passed by the polar bears and large cats, noticed that they were mangy and their enclousures were less than 1/4 of what they would enjoy at the Philadelphia Zoo. I felt bad for them.

I stood at a wooden railing watching a bunch of monkeys, savoring the present adventures and the anticipation of future ones. There was a patch of bamboo growing out of a hilled slope, running down to the southern end of the park. The monkeys played, jumped, and howled at one another, diving through the bamboo, and over branches when...wait. Movement...distantly through the trees...is that?...no...oh yes, it's the T-Express roller coaster and it was running. I quickly made my way to towards the ride which claimed to be the steepest wooden roller coaster in the world. A sign said that it would be a 90 minute wait. It was 2:30p.m. and the bus would leave at 4:00p.m. so I had just enough time. As I approaced the entrance I was stopped by an attendant who asked how tall I was. I told her 6'4", which did not help her any as Korea is on the metric system. She took me to a measuring stick on the wall and saw that I was only 4 centimeters under the maximum allowable height. She looked me over with this chin-scratching gaze like when you can't decide whether to get the regular or King size fries. After a moment or two of unsure consideration she reluctantly waved me through the gate. I have to admit that the added possibility of decapitation only compounded my titillation.

Approaching the front of the line the operator called me out of the crowd because he needed a single individual to fill an empty seat at the very front of the train. Must have been my lucky day. My fellow passenger was a 15-year-old Korean kid who called himself James. He could not stop laughing and high-fiving me. As the train clanked up the first incline he turned to me and in broken English said, "You must scream loud with me all the way."
"You got it James," I replied. I don't think that the T-Expess was slinging bull in it's claim to be the steepest wooden roller coaster in the world. The first plunge was so steep that it felt inverted, as if we were almost going upside down. The hair-pin turns, stomach lurching drops, and shaky wooden ride were the best I think I've ever enjoyed in a roller coaster. One ride on this coaster was enough (in my eyes) to redeem Everland for an otherwise crappy morning. After the ride James and I each bought a souvenir picture and signed each others. I usually don't fork over money for such things but it was only 5,000 Won and I needed something to remember the good times with one of the coolest Korean kids I've met to date. Also kind of needed something to post on the blog so you people don't think I'm making this all up.

I have to say that it has been a fantastic week. I had some memorable times, the Internet works, I opened a checking account, got paid, and by accident managed to get my camera working again! Word up. There is also exciting news from back home. One of the coolest baristas at Fennario coffee, Meghan, got married yesterday so if you read this Meg congratulations and best of luck with your future. Also, I heard that a few hours ago my friend Jenn went into labor which means my best pal Scott Harris is going to be a father. Can't wait to hear the good news guys and hopefully feature some pictures next blog post.

Cool Thing About Korea #5: Almost every public building has doors that open in both directions. Why didn't we think of that?