Twenty Five and Still Alive

Try these jams on for size.  Courtesy of Al Blumenauer.


Disclaimer: I ordinary don't go into too much detail about what is said or done at the clubs.  I consider this a PG publication that attempts to focus on my cultural experiences in Korea and I like to think it's a little classier than your fraternity brother's Saturday night Facebook updates.  With that in mind, this weekend was my 25th birthday so if you don't want to read about how many beers I slammed in a 72 hour window of time (fhrummhmm mom hrumm) then come back next week.  That being said a lot of cool stuff has happened that I have to write about so I'm not going to waste any more time with clever attention-getters or any other form of rhetorical foreplay.  Let's just cut into the meat of this thing.

Two weekends ago I found out that my buddy Justin is working for the Navy here in Korea with his beautiful wife Katie.  Haven't seen the guy since high school so when he told me they were coming to visit Seoul I had to go meet up with them.  Spent hours eating galbi and reminiscing of simpler times.  You know those conversations: "Remember when [some iconic event from adolescence] happened?" and "I wonder what [some guy from our mutual past] is up to."  Also cleaned up on cricket, spent too much money, and tackled Matt to the floor in a Burger King.  Typical night in Itaewon.

Last Monday was both touching and peculiar.  During the ten minute break between first and second period Mr. Kim, the janitor/handyman/coolest guy working at Chilbo comes into my office with a bottle of soju and two shot glasses.
Me- "Dude what are you doing?  It's not even 10 a.m.  There's 12 year old kids everywhere and we're supposed to be working."
Mr. Kim as he continues to crack open the bottle-"Okay okay okay.  No problem.  Your birthday this weekend."
Me - "No man.  Let's slow down.  I gotta be a role model here.  I'll have a few with you later."
Mr. Kim leaves, looking disappointed, but returns a several minutes later, now with three shot glasses and the Principle in tow.
Me - "Oh geez.  Is this for real?  Can't we at least wait till after lunch fellas?"
Mr. Kim as he pours out the soju - "It is okay.  It is your birthday.  Happy birthday."
Principle - "Happy Birthday."
Me - "It certainly appears that way.  Weehioh!"
That morning pick-me-up was no isolated event either.  Mr. Kim returned to my room with soju shots every 45 minutes for the rest of the day.  By 4 PM I was singing show tunes.  Now I don't condone drinking alcohol on the job.  Especially when that job is to enrich the lives of children.  But it's one thing to be a responsible adult and another thing entirely to insult the boss.

That wasn't even the best part of the day.  After school I was called down to a classroom on the second floor where a party was being held for anyone who had a birthday in November (which happened to be three female teachers and myself).  Because it was such a special occasion the four of us we're allowed to sit at the same table as the Principle and his posse even though we are but lowly foot-pegs on the coat-rack that is a Confucian hierarchy (unavoidable sarcasm).  The Principle gave me 10,000 Won worth of gift cards, which was nice, but I can't read them enough to know where to spend them.  Also had massive quantities of Duk-bulgogi, Fried Chicken, cake, and beer forced upon me.  It was a fantastic time and I'm happy that I have such thoughtful, outgoing co-workers to be with day to day.  I'll miss these guys.

School was closed on Thursday because the students had to take some sort of test to see if they're smart enough to go to high school.  When they say take the day off I don't ask too many questions.  But it was a beautiful day for walking around town.  I went up to the fortress with Renee and her co-worker Mi-Jeong.  I wanted to get some video for a project I keep putting off but forgot to charge my camera.  No matter, Renee is freakin Michelangelo with photo editing software.

I think the highlight of that particular day took place on the summit of Hwaesong.  As we were gazing out at the awe-inspiring city below us this wiry little Korean guy starts running around, throwing fists at the air, and yelling, "Beautiful oh so beautiful."  His energy was addicting and I couldn't contain myself so I ran at him screaming "Woo Hoo."  Then we did a chest bounce and started high-fiving.  I knew he was no ordinary Korean because his English was too good.  He gave me his card and I learned that he was Grand Master of a Tae Kwon Do academy in Los Angeles, born in Korea and back with his wife for a visit.  He also told me to call him by his nickname - Manhattan Beach Wind Run Man.  For a few minutes he was very entertaining but then he started rambling about how radically his home country has changed, kids not respecting their parents, and other topics of moral degradation in society that senior citizens his age worry themselves about.  At one point during his frantic and progressively angrier rant he began to disrespect the good old US of A.  I was considering tackling him to the ground and spoon feeding him an American flag but I restrained myself.  Don't get me wrong, I'd love to add a Tae Kwon Do Grandmaster to my list of "People Who Have Crossed Me and Lived to Regret It" but there were ladies present and I didn't want to startle them by "hulking out."

I was technically supposed to work on Friday but I decided to use a sick day and make it a four day weekend.  I justified this lapse in responsible behavior with three reasonable assertions:
1.) I only had one class scheduled as the students would be studying for speaking tests.
2.) It was my birthday weekend and I'm awesome.
3.) Perky and I were up all night cranking heavy metal.

Instead of working I slept until sometime in the early afternoon.  Then I ran the mountain before spending an inappropriate amount of time admiring myself in the mirror.  That night we were back out on the town.  Events worth noting include being a general nuisance to people around me, meeting this cool hipster named JoJo, and falsely assuming that people from Thailand drink like little girls.

Saturday: The Showdown.  The Big Hoorah.  The day I leave the ranks of sullen 24-year-olds clinging to beer-pong-house-parties behind only to join the club of distinguished mid-twenties baccalaureates siphoning every ounce of fun from the next few years before that big three-oh rolls over on the clock and I'm expected to be well on my way to a career.  But honestly 25 feels no different than 24.

Started the night off at 8 PM where everyone knows your name, Heejays.  In the solid five hours we spent there we likely consumed every bottle of beer in the house as well as a bottle of strawberry wine from Heejay himself, a bottle of Apple flavored bamboo wine from Songhi, a bottle of nitromethane used in Top Fuel drag racers from Brett and Jessica, an enormous chocolate cake, and endless plates of raw meat.

From there the night spiraled downward to include indescribable forms of debauchery that I would be loath to entrust with my best friend let alone publish on a website.  I would like a reputable company to actually hire me one day.  I can tell you however that this cool guy Chris let me drive his car around Suwon which was awesome because I haven't driven anything in like 7 months.  There's no rush quite like navigating 90 horses worth of KIA through 2 AM traffic in Korea.  Buy the Ticket.  Take the Ride.

Despite dropping into bed long after the morning sun had surmounted Gwanggu-San, I still managed to be up and refreshed at the respectable hour of 1 PM.  Then I want to Outback with Perky and Matt.  I stuffed myself with ribs and chicken.  Perky paid.  Thanks Perky.

Cool Thing About Korea #37: Aside from all the fantastic people here that make life worth living I have been seeing these gorgeous blue and white birds recently.  Now I'm no bird expert but I'm fairly certain that these particular specimens are Cyanoptila Cyanomelana, more commonly known as Blue and White Flycatchers, and that they are migrating away from the communist oppression to the north.